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somethingwitty0

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i'm having trouble... [24 Feb 2009|04:43pm]
breathing.
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just wanted to type [23 Feb 2009|12:23am]
dreaming of chances never taken takes a toll.

the problem is i can not quit.
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pleastantries [15 Feb 2009|03:44am]
It has always been strange to me that some people find the ticking of a clock soothing; comforting. This blows my mind. To me, the ticking of a clock is only a sustained and constant reminder of constraints; constraints that we've put on ourselves. Our lives revolve around something we've created. Some measurement of what we don't understand. The ever-present reminder that it will all end. Now,

I'm not an idiot; i am fully aware of the importance of time measurement. We could not properly function without a communal agreement on time; when is when.

I just despise the sound.
The constant ticking of memories that I haven't made.

Well, I suppose if I tried real hard, I could fathom the comfort one might find in it. The consistency. The math. Five minutes is five minutes. You know, a day is a day. And there will be another five minutes and another day.

But, to me, the clock sounds more like sand in an hourglass. An amount that will inevitably run out. Not necessarily predetermined, but dwindling none the less.
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YOU hey YOU!!! [09 Jan 2009|12:47am]
I'm giving everyone a big fucking hug right now.
everyone in the world.
I'm hugging you with my mind.

:D

that shouldn't sound as creepy as it does...
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wow [18 Nov 2008|10:49pm]
i feel so stupid.
but, there's no point in appologizing.

it wouldn't mean anything anymore.
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again [07 Nov 2008|02:49am]
I never understood what I never felt with you
No I never understood what I never felt with you
I never understood what I was missing
Though I never felt the sparks when we were kissing
And I never ran through sprinklers in the heat of the day
And I never heard the birds chirping in the morning
And I never thunder clapping and a storming
And see the hurricane that was on its way
I only heard the clock ding ding ding
I never saw the bee, only the sting.
I forgot what happens to a candy bar in the sun.
I forgot all about my super forty four
I forgot all about the peep hole in the door
And I forgot how to turn off the safty on my gun.
I never understood what I never felt with you
No I never understood what I never felt with you
Thank you for opening this door
Now don’t come back here no more
Thank you for thank you for letting me be
Thank you for holding my hand
Thank you for taking a stand
Thank you for thank you for me
I don’t even mind that I scraped up my knees
I don’t need a jacket I’d rather freeze
I don’t mind all the things I used to hate.
I found everything I wanted to
I found all of it when I lost you
Even if I was just a little late.



i never understood what i never felt with you
but i found all of it when i lost you...




[please stop coming back :)]
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its time. [26 Oct 2008|04:03pm]
It's almost time for the next journal in the "college years" series.
I'm excited.

Third time's the charm... right?
:D
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revisiting old ideas. [08 Oct 2008|05:08pm]
The cloaked one waits at the top of the hill
claiming I’ve got an unpaid bill
goes on to tell me I’ve sold something for much
more than it’s worth in money and such
I say
I made that man a deal, he don’t know what he got
I gave him a bargain, and he got what he sought.
The cloaked one stares blankly ahead
as if couldn’t hear what I said
I raise my voice up to a shout
yelling and screaming, throwing hands about
I say
I made that man a deal, he don’t know what he got
I gave him a bargain, and he got what he sought.
The cloaked one replies with words unknown
speaking them a condescending tone.
wraps it all up with a well well well
he didn’t get what you said you’d sell.
I say
I made that man a deal, he don’t know what he got
I gave him a bargain, and he got what he sought.
The cloaked one glares me right in eyes
follows it up with big deep sigh.
The peach tree you sold him won’t produce fruit
he got plant with none of the loot.
I say
I made that man a deal, he don’t know what he got
I gave him a bargain, and he got what he sought.
The cloaked one hangs his head in shame.
I say the man wants no work, but all of the fame.
It just needs some water and some sun now and then
soon my tree with give peaches again
I say
I made that man a deal, he don’t know what he got
I gave him a bargain, and he got what he sought.

He don’t know how to make it grow
He don’t know how to make me grow
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okay, then. [05 Oct 2008|11:29am]
i never understood
what i never felt
with you
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the "what if" factor. Part II [05 Jul 2008|11:15pm]
What if all of it (this bullshit that is) is an elaborate scheme (of maniacal proportions) to destroy me?


Well, I wouldn't be surprized.
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rumbling jets [04 Jun 2008|08:36pm]
a young cub watches people walk by wondering which one's next to die, thinking thoughts beyond her years, sick thoughts that would reduce a mother to tears. she knows not the meaning of haste, for she always has time to waste. The end will always justify the means, but the end is always incomplete it seems.

she finds it hard to say that each and every cliche is right in it's own respect, but harder still (what she didn't expect): the opposite is also true, everything comes full circle and leads somewhere new.

some out of shape hyenas sit waiting for their flight, ignorantly flipping through their picture books of plight. Giddy with excitement for the guns they're bound to hold, but the fire in their bellies will soon be turning cold. And yet, perhaps they'll never see the face of what they take; perhaps they'll never eat the hearts they're sure to bake.

they find it hard to say that each and every cliche is right in it's own respect, but harder still (what they didn't expect): the opposite is also true, the past is in the past, but it's still part of you.

an angry ape in a pinstriped suit screams because he has something to prove. he rips and tears his tie to shreds all in spite of its silky threads. He plucks each button one by one, then shies them at the blazing sun. With an open heart and a broken mind, he realizes love makes you blind.

he finds it hard to say that each and every cliche is right in it's own respect, but harder still (what he didn't expect): the opposite is also true, we do what we are and we are what we do.
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it's raining out [15 May 2008|05:42am]
it's raining outside today.
i stopped myself from calling you eight times today.
i wish you were watching it with me.
i'm lame.
i'm okay with that.
because honestly;
i'm just a fucked up twenty year old
with expectations beyond my control
and dreams beyond my grasp.
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the "what if" factor. [22 Apr 2008|12:08am]
What if all of it (this bullshit that is) is an elaborate scheme (of maniacal proportions) to destroy you?


Well, I'd be okay with that.
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i think i found somewhere to live. [15 Apr 2008|06:58pm]
my shit is all spread out, so i can see what i'm packing. I stuff it in real tight, but i still feel something's lacking. I make a list and check it off just like my mother said i ought. my mind tells my heart: "the list is clear and it's all here. it's okay to slow your beating." "OH, now don't you start!" my heart replies through desperate sighs, "all this shit is fleeting." it's a beautiful day and i'm sad to say i'll be spending it in a pane. i make my way to 38A and check my bag at the gate. i pocket the stub and attach the tag as i realize there's no ID on my bag. i scoff it off. leave it alone. search for my book. turn off my phone. as i live the life of a maniac painter, i observe the baby cries growing fainter. My expression is bare, but i'm always aware. the minutes trudge by, but the hours fly. i must appear a mess by the cigarette burn in my dress. my sunken eyes the stench of lies all point in one direction; all share one connection. the next thing i know the seatbelt sign's aglow and turbulence obstructs our path. i submit to chuck's words leave the worrying to the birds and allow my world to sway. the plane steadies again and lands in a city i know all too well. it's supposed to feel safe, supposed to be home, but it still feels like a shell. I let the frantic people worry, cause i'm in no rush. They're bluffing with their dueces, while i sit on a flush. i gather my things as Janis sings of lovers yet to meet. i float off the seat. waiting by the gate, i stand with my bag claim stub in hand as i see my suitcase appear. Thank God, it's finally here. i walk down the hall to meet them all. my stomach's in a knot and my only thought is about this bag and how i should have left it.
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momma, momma, i keep having nightmares [24 Mar 2008|05:21pm]
if only
i could remember
all those dreams
i've tried
so hard
to foret.
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there's someone in the room with me. [04 Mar 2008|06:00pm]
Even after the baptism, I still feel your weight. I guess my question is: am i still saved? And was I ever really guilty in the first place? I'll ask you over tomorrow, but tomorrow will soon be today. So, why wait? Just stay. That way you won't be late. Just hold me closer. Hold me tighter. Make me think you're great. Kiss me harder. Love me stronger. Let's pray that I don't break. Let's find out what's underneath. Let's peel this paint away. Let's peel these lies away. Let's peel these clothes away.
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I want to be Dr. Seuss [24 Feb 2008|12:10am]
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in making the wrong decision, that we just set the problem on the back burner. we save the predicament for another day. But, in doing so, we often make the worst choice of all.
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[19 Feb 2008|06:46pm]
thought: think
sit: sink
don't cry
you'll fry
get bit
eat shit
no card
fall hard
crazy house
sane mouse
open up
for the saving cup
soon you'll drown
just like the clown
in a steady stream
as in your dream
the red will pour
the blue will soar.
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[11 Feb 2008|05:34pm]
the warmer
i become
the more
i shiver.

the safer
i live
the more
i quiver.

the stronger
i am
the less
i fight.

the wiser
i feel
the less
i'm right.
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Do you want it? [21 Jan 2008|08:54pm]
It seems to me that some people live thier lives convincing themselves that they are guilty and the rest of the people live their lives convincing themselves that they are guilt-free.
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